


love off audio

by imaginedecember



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 08:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1850575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginedecember/pseuds/imaginedecember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Insecure was not a word that Ray would use to describe himself. Besides, he hated labels. Labels made him face reality. And, really, he liked the silence better. But at the end of the day, silence and video games could never measure up to how much he fucking loved Michael Jones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love off audio

**Author's Note:**

> Reason for Mature rating: sexual references and imagery. I apologize if any of the language used is triggering for anyone.
> 
> Note: This is in response to a prompt that I was given on tumblr from user carpathyah. The basic prompt is is that Michael is giving Ray love off audio because Mavin is all an act.

It was one of those days. 

The bad kind where there was no cure, not even video games. Blasphemy, really. And all he wanted to do was curl under his covers and play something. Anything. But, it was one of those days and instead of curling under his covers playing a game, he was mashing his face into a pillow, wishing that the pain of the lens of his glasses slamming into his eyes would outweigh whatever the fuck his heart was doing. 

Stoic. 

He had to remain expressionless. Even though no one was around. Well, Michael would be here soon. He always was. Jesus, when did he become so blinded? He didn’t want to believe that Michael would never be there for him, because he was. 

He didn’t want to believe that Michael would choose someone else (gee, who could that be? well, anyone would be better) over him, because he wasn’t. He didn’t want to believe that the love they had off audio, behind the scenes, during the night, in the early mornings, just them (and sometimes Lindsay - she was persistent and far too observant) wasn’t a lie all along, because it wasn’t. 

Now, just how long have they been doing this? 

And how long did they silently promise never to slap a label on it? 

Labels. 

Ray despised labels. 

Groaning underneath his breath, Ray lifted his head to push back the covers so he could take a non-heated breath. Cool fresh air surrounded him, leaking into his mind and somewhat calming the whirlwind of thoughts that had him chained, broken and down. 

Oh, who was he kidding, really? 

Slipping off of the bed, Ray tumbled on to the ground and remained there for a few seconds. Just collecting. Thinking. The silence soon became too much. He loved silence. But he loved Michael more. 

Love. 

Now, just how long have they been doing this? 

Years. Ray lost count of the days. He knew he fell (hard and unforgiving) for Michael during his unemployment days, when he was scrounging around for a mere penny, anything to carry him through the days. The silence was his lover then, always was. He liked to hear the clicking of his turbo controller and the blur between the gunshots and sirens in the video games versus the street noise just outside his window. He liked fantasizing that this was all life had to offer and he loved to be cruel to himself, to speak in hushed whispers to no one in particular that this was what he deserved. 

No, he didn’t deserve Michael. 

And as soon as that thought settled into his brain and started a mirage of shit-tastic comments on his less then stellar life, Ray was screwed. 

Because, now, the silence wasn’t enough anymore. Not when he had a certain paradoxical man to break it, to brighten it, to make video games seem dull in comparison. Beating someone in Call of Duty never seemed more fun. Ranting to somebody about Capcom games and then later watching him play Resident Evil on his Youtube channel (because, damn, he could never resist Michael - even if all he could have at the moment was a video capture of his voice and not the real thing). 

Michael was a strange kind of lovable teddy bear that had harsh claws and an even worse growl that somehow managed to melt Ray’s insides. And that accent. 

Ray grumbled to himself as he toppled over on to the floor, his mouth mushed into the carpet. Hacking at the taste, he managed to stand upright. Pushing the thoughts of Michael (Michael, Michael, Michael) out of his mind, he stumbled into the living room.

Ray would call himself a daydreamer but he sure as hell wasn’t daydreaming now. Because Michael was there, sitting on his couch. Narrowed eyes, all hardened stare and clenched fists. 

Damn it. 

Ray was screwed. 

“Hey,” Ray mumbled. 

He remained standing there, caught between his kitchen and his streaming station. It was his apartment but he was hesitating to even move, let alone breathe. 

“Hm,” Michael hummed before sighing and leaning back into the couch. He crossed his arms across his chest and moved his stare to the television screen. But Ray still felt like it was boring holes into him. Strictly to the heart. A true killer. “So, why’d you run off? Tonight’s friday. You know, game night and all that.” 

Ray wanted to quote Gavin right there. Jokes were his weapon of choice. It allowed him to keep a strict expression on his face. Unmoving. And the person who was pestering him would laugh and everything would be good for a few minutes. Never to be brought up again because goddamn it, really, Ray? That joke again? What are you, Gavin? You need some new material, man. 

But, no, this was Michael. 

And Michael was a hardass. 

“I forgot,” Ray spoke, shrugging afterwards. Be nonchalant and pray to god that Michael doesn’t detect-.

“So, you’re not mad at me for hugging it up with Gavin the whole time in Minecraft?”

“It’s not Gavin,” Ray whispered. He squeezed his hands together, tangling them and untangling them as Michael set that disastrous stare on him again. Incredulous. There was no way he could explain how it wasn’t Gavin. It wasn’t and it never will be. But it’ll always seem like it. 

“Then, what is it?” Michael questioned. He was trying his damnedest here to get Ray to cave. He was sick of seeing that damn stoic expression, hinting at nothing and yet everything at the same time. 

Ray thought he was so sly. Others would shrug it off as Ray being Ray. Give him time. But silence wasn’t his lover anymore. Silence was bad. It let Ray slink back into those days, the bad kind. 

Michael had just gotten Ray out of that, had done his damnedest convincing Ray for weeks to try Achievement Hunter, to try Austin, to try him. Michael wasn’t gonna let Ray slip into that silence again. 

No, Ray was staying with him. 

Right here. 

Forever. 

Standing up, Michael moved over to Ray. Not cautious. No, that wasn’t how he handled Ray. He didn’t handle him like a scared animal. Ray was a man (that was apparent from what was down below and hidden behind the zipper of his pants) and he could handle his own to a certain degree. And where he couldn’t, that was where Michael came in. When it came to his own self and precarious mental health, well, Michael was always there to shove Ray against a wall and make him listen. Even if it hurt to hear the truth. 

Shoving Ray into the wall, Michael slotted his hips against the younger’s, perfectly, like they were meant to be like this. And Michael was a forever kind of guy. That was apparent by how long he was with Ray. He wasn’t a hit and quit. No, he wasn’t an asshole like that. Now, if only Ray could understand. 

“I love you, don’t I? I chose you, didn’t I?” Michael murmured. He kept his ton low, voice soft as cotton. Sighing, he let his fingers trail across Ray’s disheveled hair. He was unable to help himself as he ducked his head, knocking it into Ray’s chin and nuzzling into his neck. He really missed the warmth of his skin and the scent of his clothes. Something like cologne. Laundry, too. And a little bit of distinct, natural Ray that Michael swore he would never forget on the day that he had finally let himself be close to Ray back in those New York and New Jersey days. He wouldn’t trade this for anything. 

Now, just how long have they been doing this? 

Why would they ever dare to stop? 

Why was Ray doing this to him, to them? 

“Mavin isn’t real, you know? This is. And I’m really sick and tired of having to prove that to you. You already know this. You’ve known this for years. There wasn’t a problem then. So, why is there one now?” Michael whispered into the skin of Ray’s neck. “Why are you pushing me away?” 

And that was the final blow for Ray. 

“I wanna tell everyone. Let them know. I don’t care. I’m sick of having to be questioned ‘so, how’s mavin these days?’ or ‘I saw that mavin was blowing up in that lets play - how do you deal with that?’ because you’re fucking mine. And I’m sick of hearing about who you’re gonna fuck up next. Sick of hearing them fucking question me about it all the damn time. I’m their friend, I must know every secret. But they don’t know the biggest one. You’re mine. You have been for a long ass time. I’m sick of keeping it off audio. I want the others to know. I want…,” Ray paused in his rambling. He couldn’t handle the crush of his lungs and the stabbing sensations that were poisoning his heart. Slipping down the wall, he covered his face to somehow shield the world (and most importantly, Michael). 

“Ray-.”

“I just want reassurance that you’re not gonna leave.”

In the safety bubble that they had created with no labels and no definitions, Ray knew Michael was his and vice versa. But when no one knew about them. It almost felt like he was letting Michael go, letting him be free to be with who the fuck ever.

Ray was damn sick of the silence. 

And for once, Michael was silent himself. Caught dumb and completely befuddled, Michael kneeled on the carpet across from Ray. His hands hovered over his huddled form before dropping to the carpet. Tugging at the strands with his nails, Michael furrowed his eyebrows and tried to decipher this side of Ray. The one he hadn’t seen in a long ass time. 

“I’ll go tell the others right now. Emergency company meeting,” Michael tried. 

When Ray didn’t reach up to hit him or to scoff at him, Michael knew he was slowly getting it right. Ray was puzzle alright but Michael would happily spend years decoding it just to see the younger happy. He did love that damn smile of his. Pure sunshine. 

“At night?” Ray questioned. His voice was gross, completely destroyed by the incoming sobs that wanted to rip from his body. But Michael loved it, loved him. 

“Of course. Or else you’re gonna back out and I’m not having that. We’re gonna tell everyone and they’ll accept and you’ll be reassured even though there’s no goddamn reason for you to be afraid.” 

Michael just had to add that last part. He couldn’t do this without telling Ray at least once how goddamn stupid he thought the younger one was. 

Because, really, who was it this whole entire time that kept Michael grounded? 

Oh, yeah, that’d be Ray. 

Duh. 

Raising his head, Ray locked eyes with Michael. There was that damn fond look in the older’s eyes. Smile soft, eyes even softer. It was a look that only he got. It was full of everything that Michael wanted to say but never really couldn’t, despite how much he was all for speaking the truth and being honest with ones self. Sometimes, things were just better left unsaid and better felt. And, boy, Ray could feel it. He was an insecure idiot who had found someone who made him feel less like an idiot and more like a treasure. Michael was special, they were special. 

“Come on, baby. I missed you,” Michael murmured. His New Jersey accent was a bit strong, the vowels and consonants smushed together into some kind of strange slur. But Ray loved it when he spoke like this to him, sweet and low. It made his heart melt as the worlds curled around the crevices and sank deep into his veins. Too much but not enough. 

“I love you,” Ray whispered. Leaning forward, he braced himself by placing his hands on Michael’s knees. Shaking his head, Michael met him halfway and pressed their lips together. Skin to skin. Heat to heat. Warm and electrifying. Ray sunk into the feeling, moving his hands until they crept up Michael’s thighs. He needed more but Michael was a terrible tease. Breaking the contact, Michael grabbed his hands and held them tight. 

“I love you too,” Michael spoke. Smirking, he stood, tugging Ray up with him and towards the front door. “Now, about that company meeting, we-.”

“Are not doing that now,” Ray growled. He pushed Michael against the door, allowing his lips to slip into a smirk. Michael returned the expression, his eyes smoldering with that look. 

A single look was really all it ever took.


End file.
